Mommy Talk

Being a mom ain't easy

I’m pregnant, and scared

So I’m 36. I have wanted kids my entire life and I am finally pregnant.

My boyfriend and I decided to start trying in April. We were prepared for the long haul. I am older, I have an irregular period, I have even tried in the past with my ex… We had long discussions about patience and saving money for fertility drugs if necessary. What we weren’t prepared for was 1st time’s the charm! We got pregnant May 24th according to my doctor. I am now 17 weeks pregnant and I can’t believe how much it has changed me already.

I am scared about everything! I have always been a go with the flow kind of person. I jumped out of trees as a kid. I rode on the hoods of cars in hight school. I acknowledge danger I have just always felt that letting fear take over was not really living… now on the other hand I’m afraid of dogs, driving too fast, lifting heavy objects, eating the wrong foods… EVERYTHING!!

I am lucky that I am relatively healthy. My blood pressure is fine, I have no genetic issues, there is no reason to fear. Yet, I have had 2 instances of spotting. I have been told that this is normal. Apparently my uterus is growing and capillaries can rupture, but it totally freaks me out. I thought that once I got through my 1st trimester I would be ok, but I keep hearing stories about late term miscarriages and I freak out.

I have been taking care of kids my entire life and I was thinking this would be a no brainer… now I’m thinking that I am going to be the most over protective mother in the world. I feel bad for the child in my belly. He may be wearing a helmet and wrapped in bubble wrap all day long.

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