Mommy Talk

Being a mom ain't easy

When is it ok to Step in?



I never thought that I would question this. I always thought that if there was potential for a child to get hurt that I would automatically do the right thing and step in. But how do you know the real potential. I know of a woman who continues to make poor choice after poor choice. She moves her young daughter into houses with undesirable people. She trusts her child’s care to her latest “bestie” like she’s known them her whole life.. and really it could only be a couple of weeks

This woman meets most if not all of her friends at step programs.. and I’m not talking the 90s aerobic workout.. I mean AA, NA.. whichever anonymous meeting happens to be in the area. It’s where she meets her boyfriends too. She loses her money.. and this means her baby’s food and diaper money too.. her cell phone.. her whatever else pretty much monthly and has hit everyone she knows up for more when she can.

She has been given the opportunity many times to move home to parents houses.. or friends houses till she gets back on her feet.. but that never lasts long.. mostly because she’s not allowed to drink and have seedy men over.

Every day in the news there is some article or another about little children getting beaten or killed or raped by the mother’s boyfriend.. or friend.. or whomever was at the house scoring at the time. I think about the helpless little girl who was born a month too early.. who couldn’t put on weight even formula fed, who had seizures and 2 holes in her heart and needed surgery.. the little girl who is only a week younger than my son.. and I ache for her safety.

I don’t have any direct contact with the child so I don’t see any direct abuse.. and a lot of my fears are based on the circumstances of her living conditions and past poor choices… so I feel like I’m crying wolf if I get involved.. but it scared me to think that something might happen to that little girl.. with only a drunk women who abandoned her 2 older girls to protect her.


Summertime and the Living is…. Rainy

Today was a lovely day… or at least it started that way. We had checked the weather report and seen that it was supposed to be mid 80s and partly cloudy. Perfect day for the beach. We packed up the baby, the diaper bag, the carriage, the picnic, the blanket, the towels, the toys… you get the point and we headed up to the local beach strip.

hamptonWe drove around for a while looking for parking. We lugged and wheeled all our belongings and our boy halfway across town to get to the actual beach… we laid out our blanket, slathered on sunscreen, changed the baby into the right diaper, put on his floaties and enjoyed a lovely stroll through the umbrella world down to the water.

This was my boy’s 1st time at the actual ocean… when he was aware of what was going on. I brought him last year but he was like 4 months old and was pretty much just concerned about his next drink at the boob. Today he walked on the sand, held our hands as he ventured into the waves and stood his ground as the sand beneath him dissipated and he lost his footing. He was honestly pretty good at facing the waves.. he’s pretty little and though the waves were just crashing at our ankles they were splashing up in his face… he held his ground though. He did not like the sand leaving his footing as much.. but he held out like a champ.

This lasted for about 15 mins.. and he had his fill.. ok.. we’ll go up and play in the sand for a bit.. maybe eat that lunch.. it was after 1 at this point in the day… we were barely done our fruit and only half done our sandwich when the grey clouds started to invade our space. We looked back on the horizon and saw the beginnings of a frightful storm.

hampton2That was that for the beach.. at least the sand part. We packed up the towels, the blanket, the cooler, and toys.. and my boyfriend took all the extras back to the car. Jason and I waited by the restroom trying to get our chance to change back into the dry clothes and a real diaper. We met a lot of nice women in that line.. such a friendly place to encounter all kinds of people trying to wet themselves.

When we finally had our turn at the “family restroom” Neil was just getting back to the facilities and was lovely enough to run up and help me out of the door with the carriage. An older woman commented on how sweet it was that he cared and how most men woulhampton1dn’t have noticed never mind bothered to rush to their aid. That made me happy.. and proud of my boyfriend. He is by no means perfect.. but he
does care and he does try.. and that means more than he knows.

Anyway, we had like 3 more hours on the meter and were not giving up on our beach day.. we hit the strip and tried to stay under awnings as much as possible. I bought a cute new ankle bracelet, we got our pictures taken in a booth and of course Neil tried out the new Batman video game.. all in all it was a successful day. Even with the random rain bursts and sun showers.

The baby fell asleep on our walk and we spent like an hour just sitting on a bench looking out over the water and talking. It was nice.. we don’t get a lot of “alone” time anymore.. at last it was time to leave… and I don’t know if it was good timing or bad because we got caught in torrential down pours on the drive home.. we could barely see 5 feet in front of us.. but at least we weren’t still sitting on the bench with a sleeping 17 month old.

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How Can One Person Change Anything?

So there’s this supermarket in Massachusetts and New Hampshire called “Market Basket”. It’s the supermarket that I grew up going to… though when I started going there it was called “Demoulas”. I never thought much about my little local grocery store until my boyfriend moved into the area with me.

We headed to the storimg-Market-Basket-Updatee with about $40 cash and I filled the carriage. He couldn’t believe that I would be able to buy so much on such short money.. but I did.. with change to spare.  He had always shopped at his local “Stop & Shop” and even used their friendly little “frequent shoppers” card. He explained that at his store that amount of food would have been at least double.

So.. flash forward a few years and now there’s chaos for my little market. Apparently the family tha
t owns the chain hate each other.  Apparently there has been an ongoing feud for years between controlling cousins… and apparently this has become my problem.

For about a year there has been petitions going around aimed at the board of whomevers to keearticle-0-1FFAAAB900000578-374_634x421p Arthur T as CEO because Arthur S wants to turn this affordable, family friendly store into the next big paycheck. Now.. that’s not to say that Arthur T has been losing money over the last.. I don’t know.. 600 years or however long he’s been in charge. In fact the store is doing quite well. From what I have read they actually pay their employees a decent wage on top of keeping prices low… TAKE THAT WAL-MART… but this new wave of important people want MORE money.. shocking.. I know.

So here’s the thing. No one cares what they want. The employees making a decent wage don’t care. They don’t want to see their paychecks cut.. the customers who have been shopping there for 100 years don’t care.. they don’t want to see their prices sky-rocket. So the entire company has gone on strike and all the locals have been boycotting the store… for weeks.

Now let me tell you.. this is no easy feat. First of all I live in an area where there are like 10 “Market Baskets” in an easy to reach location… and very little else. We have to actually drive passed a few to get to the “Stop & Shop”, but we do it. And why? you ask… well, as I explained to a friend of mine when she said that she wasn’t going to be able to keep this up if it lasted any longer because “Stop & Shop” was so frickin’ expensive. If we don’t keep up the boycott and cave to the big CEO then we’ll be stuck with “Stop & Shop” prices forever.. because that’s what “Market Basket” will become. It’s better to suffer in the short-term and hold out for something better than to cave and get what they give us.

article-0-1FF6557700000578-14_634x427I also had a friend who commented that if the current employees didn’t want their jobs he’d be happy to take one off their hands… again I explained that will not help anyone. He explained that he was unemployed and that work was work. He has always prided himself on being a person who would stand up for the “little guy” but that he needed to do what was right for him…. I understand that.. to a point, but… what good is a job that will just cause the “little guy” to lose.. that money he’s making won’t go as far when the prices go up.. and when the payroll drops.. and it doesn’t count if you just say that you support worker’s rights.. if when it means something you can’t back it up.. that’s not supporting. That’s just placating. In the end he agreed… but I wonder about all the others who may not be so understanding.

This friend said to me, “it’s not going to change by one strike”.. it reminded me of the old adage, “you can’t fight city hall”img-No-end-in-sight-in-Market-Basket-saga well, lot’s of people fight. The 60s & 70s were full of people who fought and made huge strides. Hell, one woman’s name is still on the tips of everyone’s tongue when the subject of civil rights is mentioned and all she did was sit her ass down on a bus.

This country used to stand for something. It used to believe in something. It used to be a place people were proud of and millions clamored to find anyway in.. so they could start new lives and build something. Now it’s become a land of self obsessed, entitled, puppets who do as little as possible to get as much as possible and I for one hope for more for my son.. and that’s why I support what is happening at “Market Basket”.

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