Mommy Talk

Being a mom ain't easy

Why Fathers’ Day Annoys Me

Fathers’ day has always been a perplexing thing to me. Where Mothers’ day is treated as Gospel, Fathers’ day is treated as a joke. It’s about getting the silliest tie, or hoping they don’t burn down the house in their need to create the perfect BBQ. It’s about loving a father who has almost become the butt of all our jokes.

I have heard for years the expression, “Anyone can be a father, but it takes a real man to be a dad” and I get that. A sperm donation can come without much effort and they never have to look back, but someone who sticks around deserves credit, but I also think there is a difference in the kind of sticking around you do.

There are the dads that pay the bills but have no idea what their child’s favourite toy is. There10259903_10152394822901602_2466868852326164555_n are the dads that love taking their kids to sporting events, or the park, or what ever fun activity they have come up with for the day, but have no idea what they are learning in school.. if they’ve done their homework, brushed their teeth or eaten their vegetables.

My son’s father is very sweet and one of those dads’ who loves to play and have fun with his boy he is also one of those dads who feels that the children are the moms responsibility. He hands me back my little Bubby Boy when he needs feeding or changing or anything important. He will run to get him if he’s hurt but immediately hand him to me for comfort.

17923_10151515250461602_1693194054_nThen there are the dads like my dad. The dads for what ever reason have to raise their children alone. The dads that don’t have the moms to take the lead.. or even for back up. The dads who have to suddenly know how to cook, do the laundry, get gum out of my hair… a lot sadly. The dads who have to kiss the boo boos and go to the parent/teacher conferences. The dads that have to be taken seriously.. that deserve more than a silly tie or a power tool cuz that’s what the TV says you want. Now that I have my own son I’m even more in debited to my father who is there every day to help me.

Families are changing drastically. This country in particular is not all about the 2 parent10308065_10152411541141602_4134339019151419042_n family.. or even the single moms. There are single dads, gay 2 parent dads.. gay 2 parent moms (who may be more interested in the power tools on mothers’ days) The point of this day is to give credit where credit is really do. Dads aren’t a joke. They make a huge difference in kids lives.. whether they are around or not. It’s important to thank those who are making a positive difference.

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Hold on Tight!

I am by no stretch of the imagination an over protective parent. Though this is my 1st child I have been baby-sitting, nannying and just helping to take care of kids most of my life. I spent most Saturday nights of my teen life baby-sitting. I have a younger cousin that I moved in with at 15 and would watch OFTEN and then in my late teens my best friend had a baby and I spent most of the following years helping her raise her 2 kids and then some. I love kids and I’m very comfortable around them.

Poststar_Floating_Bouncy_House_TG_140513_16x9_608That being said, since having my own son I have become paranoid about crazy things. What would happen if my car slid off the ice and went into the water? How would I get everyone out safely in a fire… you know.. normal paranoia. But the news lately has me on the edge of my seat. Seemingly normal, everyday, fun activities are putting children in life threatening situations that could never be predicted… though the nay sayers who bother to comment and I guarantee don’t have children or they wouldn’t say things like, “who let’s their child play on the swing set alone?” UMMM… EVERYONE! It’s in the back yard for crying out loud!

I first read about a bounce house being swept off the ground and flown the air like Dorothy on her way to Oz.. then I read a horrific account of a mother who almost watched her child choke to death on their back yard swing set and had no idea what was going on… thank God the “older” brother was there to save her. I say older in quotesswing set because he was 7 and hardly old enough to really handle the situation.

I think about all the crazy things that my friends, brother and I used to do as children and how we were never around parents… it was the 80s and most of us came from single parent homes anyway. I can’t imagine how many times our lives were at risk but we were too young and stupid to realize… or just lucky and we weren’t on the “gravelings” list for the day.

It’s just one article like that makes you realize how lucky you are and thankful for everyday that your loved ones are safe. I look at my son and he is already quite the handful and I know that he is only going to cause more mischief as the years progress. I just hope that fate or God or the “gravelings” are on his side. And mine!

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Mother’s Day Myth

So my boyfriend had been talking up Mother’s Day like it was going to be a culmination of my birthday, Christmas, the birth of our son and every other day mixed together and wrapped up as a perfect present. He told me that he had a whole weekend planned and that I was going to love every second.

Then he told me… well I have to work Saturday… ok.. that happens.. and Mother’s day isn’t till Sunday anyway. So Saturday night by the time we were actually together we decided to just rent a movie.. we have a 1-year-old after all.. not a lot of partying going on.

So we RedBoxed a movie and I decided that we should just get a pizza and call it a day. Now when I think pizza… I think red sauce… gooey cheese and pepperoni.. he got us buffalo chicken. I admit, I am a huge fan of buffalo chicken… it’s just not pizza.. and the baby can’t have any. So now I have to figure out what to feed our son since he can’t have the dinner I had planned on.

jewelry boxOk… so in the morning we wake up.. he had a card and flowers and a precious little jewelry box. I have to explain that I am the daughter of a single father who spent my entire like buying me jewelry boxes because he knew it was something girls like… I have no jewelry.. but at least 40 boxes… I have explained this to said boyfriend.. apparently the only thing that he got out of the story is that girls like jewelry boxes… but ok.. fine.. at least he got me something. I’m not going to complain. Then he brings me out for breakfast…. AAAHHH FINALLY!!! I LOVE going out for breakfast! This is more like it.

During breakfast I casually mention that the baby needs a few things at Target so we should stop onCastle-Island the way out. He suggests that we take a walk by the river and make our way over to Target… sure why not? A riverwalk sounds delightful… “then we’re going to Castle Island?”, I inquired.. as those were our original plans… we had been discussing it for weeks. “Oh, no… we’ll have to do that another Shoppers At Target Corp. Ahead Of Earnings Reporttime… I have to get home. There’s a bunch of stuff I have to work on”. WOW.. Really!? So my fabulous Mother’s Day weekend consists of your favourite pizza and a trip to Target… what will I get for my birthday? A visit to Home Depot and re-finish the back porch?

Now I’m not saying that it was a bad day. In fact if it was a normal Sunday afternoon it would have been lovely. We had a fabulous breakfast. The walk was beautiful.. Jason had a blast at the park.mothers day We even ran into a friend.. though that was cut short by the tapping of the wrist where a watch doesn’t actually reside and the twirling of a finger acting as my director telling me to wrap up my fun cuz he had more important things to do… In fact if he hadn’t been building up the “amazing weekend” he had planned it would have been great.. but don’t promise me the moon and then give me a trip to the planetarium. The planetarium would be perfect without the buildup. Work with what we got here please!

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Knowing When to Let Go

qhDPTR11B9-2So an interesting social experiment has happened in my world today. My phone has buzzed its last text message. I’m sure it’s untimely death has nothing to do with the sippy cup full of juice that was poured on it. I mean it was all natural organic.. no sugar added juice. Yet, strangely enough since the sippy cup incident… my phone has continued to lose functionality. First, I couldn’t access all my pictures. Then it was saying that it was charging when it was clearly NOT plugged in, and now it’s telling me that I don’t have a battery… yet I’m fairly certain that I do… especially since my phone is managing to flash a lighted sign at me stating it has no battery.

Alas, I am without phone. I remember in years past the panic that would set in at the prospect of not having my trusted companion. I remember getting completely pissed at which ever company dared to make such a faulty product that it could not foresee a way to prevent a Mountain Dew attack… I didn’t say the baby spilled the sippy cup.. just that it was spilled. I remember the sheer terror that I may miss a text message or email or.. what’s that other thing that phones do? Right, phone call…

Now I sit, with the lifeless body that was once my best friend.. and I do not mourn its passing, but am at peace that somewhere out there… when I get a chance to pick one up.. there is one justPhoneLandingHero like it… and possibly even an upgraded version…. that will do it’s job just fine. And untill I have the chance to find such a gift… I will enjoy the silence and the thoughts in my own head… and leave the messaging to my computer… who is nice enough to stay at home and not intrude in my life where ever I go.

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Hippity Hoppity Easter Came and Went

1948258_10152339527021602_4071599751604340545_nIt’s funny cuz this was my son’s second Easter and yet he still has no idea what’s going on. I brought him to meet The Bunny. The basket was laid out and filled in the night and yet nothing…. I mean he knows he got a few snacks and toys the next morning but the whole concept is completely over his head.

I think it’s funny how far he has come and yet at the same time he’s still a little baby with very10168121_10152339526766602_2113540666147130845_n little understanding of the ways of the world. I didn’t even bother with the egg decorating or the hunt.. he wouldn’t understand that he’s supposed to go look for them and we’d still be finding them on Christmas. Next year I think we’ll have more fun with it. Next year he’ll be 2 and completely afraid of the giant rat at pictures and totally excited about the prospect of candy… instead of the organic apple chips that he got this year.

524095_10151523833866602_2075482647_nThe one fun thing about this year was his Easter basket. It’s shaped as a giant Peep and last year he was small enough to sit inside of it. I think it will be quite fun watching him year by year get bigger and bigger and the basket get smaller and smaller… until then my family will just have to enjoy watching him play as he does everyday and take pride and in the happy little man that he is.

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Baby in White!

untitledSaturday night was my baby’s Baptism. It was so much fun. He was such a precious little angel. He was a little older than most because we had the slight glitch of neither myself nor his father are Catholic, but my father’s side of the family is and I wanted him baptised at our family church and I want him to learn the old traditions and make up his own mind on what he believes.

Anyway, so, because neither parent was Catholic I had to convert. It took many months, but I feel 1good about my time spent going to the church and what I have learned. The church in which we attend is pretty forward thinking. I could and would never take him anywhere that taught hate. They are accepting of everyone. In fact, the woman who was running my classes has a daughter who recently married a Muslim. If that isn’t accepting I don’t know what is.

2So we had a joint ceremony. My confirmation… as I was already baptised… and his baptismal. It was so beautiful. It was the night of the Easter Vigil. There was a full Mass and a crowd of people. You could really feel the love in the house4 when my baby came up and was ready for his dunking. I have to say, I have never been very fond of organized religion with all the hypocrisy you hear in the news. But on this night with these people I could really understand the appeal and the power that it has given others over the years.

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Murder is no Game

KNXV%20Cody%20Wygant_1397839129120_4127985_ver1_0_320_240I want to start by saying that I have nothing against video games. In fact, I enjoy a good arcade at the beach and like to watch some of the adventure games as if they were a movie. I used to have an ex that used to let me hold the map to the big long games and help direct him places when he got stuck. They can be a lot of fun.

They are also, like anything else, ADDICTIVE! I know people who have had to cut social engagements short because they have had standing plans to play a game with online “friends”. I have known others to bring portable game systems every where they go and completely check out from real life at any given moment. I have seen fights and things broken. I have seen grown men have tantrums worse than my toddler, but now I have seen the worst.

I read an article today about A GROWN MAN who smother his son to death because the baby was crying too much and he couldn’t play his x-box game. Are you effing kidding me?!?!?! I couldn’t even imagine being that baby’s mother. You leave the child alone with his own father. A man you assume would protect his son with his life, just as you would, and you come home to find the little scampering piece of your heart DEAD! Then to find out that it wasn’t an accident. It wasn’t some tragic event that couldn’t be prevented. The man who you left in charge. The man with whom you trusted the most precious, most innocent being in your world actually killed him! And again, not by accident. Then to find out the REASON he felt this was ok.. was because he wanted to play a GAME!! How is this rational understandable? How do you wrap your mind around this the next time you see a kid at the park, or when your own son’s birthday rolls around? How is this even possible?

When did something as trivial as a video game become the most important thing in someone’s life. More important than their own family; their own child’s life? The worst part is that when I went to find the article again I realized that this wasn’t the only little life that was taken over a videojonylah game. There was a 6 month old baby who was shot because her father, allegedly, stole someone’s video game.. so the “victim”, instead of calling the cops to report the theft, shot the man while he was changing his daughter. The little 6 month old angel was shot FIVE times. As if once wasn’t enough!

I have found stories that, so far, go back as far as 2006, and it’s not just men. In 2010 a mother shook her 3 month old to death over FARMVILLE!!! WHAT?!??!?! That doesn’t have a time limit. You can plow and plant as lackadaisical as you choose. I really think that there needs to be help out there for people and this video game obsessed world. (It’s not just happening in The States. There are stories in England and North Korea too). When people are putting their own lives on hold, or KILLING young children over it there needs to be a way to come to terms with it being an addiction.

Now like I said, don’t get me wrong; I like video games. I like drinking too.. but when someone is so addicted that they start to hurt themselves or other over it.. then it’s just a problem. Perhaps a VGA group should be started.. I don’t know.. but this epidemic of lifeless killer zombies has to stop.

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How do you not notice 7 DEAD BABIES!?!?!?

dead-babies-utah-homeI have heard many insane stories in my life, but this new story about the woman who has killed SIX of her newborn babies has to be the most disturbing thing I could have ever imagined. This is literally something out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie… or an episode of Criminal Minds.

In the days of legal abortion, adoption and Hell even black-market sales of babies how is it that the only thing that this woman could think to do with a brand new baby is to strangle, smother and kill it! And this wasn’t just some teenage girl in a desperate moment. This was a grown mother of 3 other children who did this not once… not twice but SIX times, and never told anyone until the bodies were found!

How the guilt did not eat at her. How she went about her day-to-day life without anyone one question, noticing or thinking she may have a problem is beyond me. How her husband didn’t notice seven pregnancies (one was supposedly still-born so she didn’t have to kill it) is ridiculous! I have been pregnant. I could never imagine going through the whole thing without my boyfriend finding out. And let’s be honest 10 pregnancies all together, including her actual children, she must have been taking her clothes off in front of him occasionally.. I’m just saying.

But beyond the moron man who couldn’t tell that his wife was pregnant SEVEN times, who looks at a sweet little helpless infant and thinks… “I have to squeeze it to death”? Especially a mother…1024px-HumanNewborn a mother who appears to have her life together enough to not lose custody of her living children. How is this possible? The only thing that I could think of was that horrible “Game of Thrones” character who sent his boys off to be eaten. I don’t even know what else to say about this story.. the concept is so foreign to me I can’t find it in any way conceivable.

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Boston Strong… A Day to Remember

tumblr_inline_mlevhrDDgi1qz4rgpToday is the anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombing. I remember that day vividly. I had plans with my cousin. We were going to take my brand new baby out for a little night on the town… dinner out!!! Woo Hoo!!! He wasn’t even 2 months old. I remember we were meeting at her mom’s house because she had plans with her earlier in the day.. it being a holiday and all.

I remember hearing the news on the radio on the drive out, and I remember telling them about it when I got there. I remember thinking about how horrible the situation was as my young son laid in my arms nursing. I remember thinking, “what kind of world did I bring him into?”. Then I remember watching the TV and seeing all of the people who were still shuffling about to help.

I remember the following days as the information started flowing in and hearing that it was just kids themselves who were responsible for this horrible thing. I remember being shocked to find out that, for the most part, these kids grew up here.

I remember my whole city being shut down. I remember my son’s grandmother not being able to go outside because the search was happening outside her door. I remember thinking.. this is the kind of world my son was born into. The kind of world where no one questions staying inside… where nors_560x415-130416095318-1024_joe_cm_41613_copy one interferes or puts their own needs before those of the rest of the world’s. The Boston Marathon isn’t just about Boston.. people come from EVERYWHERE to compete.. and the people of Boston… specifically the little city outside of Boston, Watertown, didn’t start rioting in the streets. They didn’t take matters into their own hands and lynch mob the kid. They didn’t take the opportunity to hit the other side of town and start looting. They sat in their houses and watched with bated breath along with the rest of the world for justice to prevail.. and then I remembered this is the world that I want my baby to live in. A world that is made up of strong righteous people.. BOSTON STRONG!

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Hi Every Bunny!

20140410115520_0001_1We met the bunny yesterday. Technically Jason met him last year, but he slept through most of it as he was only like a month and a half old. This time he sat right in his lap and peered into his giant bunny eyes.. and he smiled!!

I was shocked.. we did not have such a pleasant experience with Santa and I wasn’t sure how it would go. Before heading off to the mall I showed him last year’s picture. I pointed out the Easter Bunny, who I knew was going to be the same one, and20140410115554_0001_1 I showed him how nice he was with the little baby in the picture. I hoped that would help. I don’t know if it was that or if he just assumed it was a giant stuffed animal and was cool with that. No one will ever know the inner workings of a toddler’s brain.. nor should we.

The prices of the packages weren’t that bad compared to other’s that I’ve seen and we had a coupon for 4 free cards with the purchase of a multi-pose CD.. so that’s what we went for.. all in all I think it was a successful day. We even rounded it out with a yummy gourmet cupcake. Looks like I’ll need to do a few more baby exercises to make up for that… but worth it.

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